3/11 Please return my backpack; you took it by mistake from Subway on Tuesday.
3/12 Please return blue backpack taken from Subway on Tuesday (No questions asked).
3/13 Please return navy blue backpack taken from Subway on Tuesday. Reward.
3/14 The backpack taken from Subway on Tuesday is more of a royal blue than a navy, with black straps and gray piping, and I really need it back. $ reward!
3/15 Whoever took my backpack from Subway Tuesday can keep the backpack if they will just return the stuff in it. Substantial $ for return! Desperate!
3/16 Perhaps I failed to explain that the Subway my backpack is missing from (I'm sure it was an honest mistake and am willing to generously reward your trouble) is the sandwich place on Grove St. and not an underground means of transportation. (I really need my stuff.)
3/17 I just want to mention in regard to my backpack that my medications were in it, which I really, really have to have as it turns out and I can't get more quite yet because I just refilled my last refill and I can't get another prescription until my next appointment and you have my appointment book and you have my cellphone and you have my medical card and I can't pay for a refill anyway because you got all the money that was in my wallet and my checkbook, and my account is frozen anyway and all the credit cards have been canceled and I got a bit anxious with all those people at the bank and now they get their supervisor as soon as I tell them my name and if I don't tell them my name they say they can't help me.
3/18 I thought I'd let you know that I lost my job for being late all last week and not having my uniform (which was in my backpack) and now I can't get into my apartment now to change clothes or sleep or eat or anything because you have my keys (which were in my backpack) and my roommate apparently moved in with her boyfriend after all and the superintendent is new and says I have to have an ID which I don't have because you took it you asshole and someday I will find you and beat you to a pulp. WHERE IS MY BACKPACK?
3/20 This is not as bad as it could be because some nice people have been showing me how to get food and finding a place to sleep and they said I would be eligible for Medical Assistance if I can get a copy of my birth certificate and then I can get my medications again and that is not so bad either because some other nice people have been sharing beer and wine with me and smoking stuff with me and one guy says that tonight he has some really fun stuff he will share with me!
3/21 help me
3/23 wheRe is my
3/25 Zathek iz releassed upn thee wurld Zathek summones the lurrking sperpent of secert knoowlege nd the visine of ever truth ZATHEK DEVORYSTH STEALLER OF BLUE BACKPACKS ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! With wussaby & pikled beats.