image Rosalind Warren
Fish Fondling is Nothing to Be Ashamed Of

Well actually it is. It's something to be deeply ashamed of. But it shouldn't be. If I want to fondle a fish in the privacy of my own home, who am I hurting?

Not the fish, who is already dead.

And if I want to advertise online because I want to find other fish fondlers, what's the harm in that?

"Fish fondler seeks same for discrete fondling of fish" drew only three responses, two of which were clearly not serious. But luckily the third was from Marta, who described herself as "plump, upbeat, and helplessly into fondling fish." She'd discovered her kink, she wrote, as a young girl growing up on the Cape. Her parents both fished; she'd been up to her wrists in writhing cod from early childhood. "But I soon realized that for my sisters, this was not the sexually charged experience it was for me."

We arranged to meet at the Union Oyster House, the oldest continuously operating seafood restaurant in America. We sat at the raw bar, chatting easily as we watched nonchalant men prying oysters open and serving drinks. We strolled to the Aquarium and wandered past tanks teaming with exotic fish as we whispered to each other about our most secret desires. Then we went to the fishmongers.

Back at my place, we placed our fish in a heap and filled a bowl with water. We shared our first kiss. Then we each reached for a small trout...

I will refrain from describing what followed. I prefer to leave it to your imagination. Suffice to say that placing that ad was the best thing I've ever done.

Perhaps you have some dark kinky secret. Perhaps you, too, are a fish fondler. Don't be ashamed. Be proud of your kinks! They make you unique. So what if you need to fondle fish to reach orgasm? Trust me — there are plenty of people out there even weirder than you. There are more of us than you think. I envision a day when photos of people fondling fish will no longer be hidden but will be right out there, everywhere — even in online magazines! In the meantime, follow your bliss.

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