Kelley White
Just The Sordid Details, Ma'am

How did we know our queasy delight at the grainy pictures was sin?
Dog Boy and Alligator Woman Marry
Baby Born With No Arms Hops Like Frog On Web Feet
Human Torso: Quadruple Amputee Paints Portrait of Lincoln With Teeth

That we 'accidentally' knocked open the tabloid Granny left next to TV Guide?
Vampire Boy Makes Daily Withdrawal From Blood Bank
Hitchhiker Leaves Human Head In Paper Bag On Seat Of Eighteen Wheeler
Hairless Dog Can Sing Star Spangled Banner

That a fearless cousin teased a copy from the magazine rack to hide beneath his bed?
"I Was Forced To Eat Spiders And Live Snakes To Survive"
"He Tied Me and Gagged Me with My Severed Guts"
"My Baby Was Crying So I Put Him In The Freezer And He Stopped"

That we gathered in the bathroom to read the lurid stories to each other?
The Truth About Demons
Joan was put to death in man's clothes
Thousand Year Old Mummy Walks Halls Of Science

And who couldn't sleep?
Ax Murderer Strikes Mothers With Children
Glowing Object Falling From Sky Spreads Horrifying Death Ray
Couple Horror In Alien Abduction: "They Had Slimy Green Skin And Eyes"
Your Television: Could It Be One Of THEIRS?

And wasn't Uncle Elwood the first man killed falling from an automobile?
And didn't Jeanie die from a poisoned tunafish sandwich?
And didn't Bobby know that Harry Hanson had breasts like a woman?
And hadn't Mary Carter grown hair in her armpits? (And down there?)

And didn't I wake up one Sunday morning with a stain on my baby doll pajamas?
And wasn't I grown up now?

Waiting alone in Granny's bedroom while she got 'supplies' at the drug store.
A whole stack of National Enquirers on the bedside table.
Eleven Year Old Girl Gives Birth To Twins Able To Talk At Birth